Life After Grandma

I've been wanting to blog forever about how things are going, but I've just been so busy. (Aside from that I forgot my gmail password!) I've been dealing with depression since my Grammy's passing and it's been hard without her. I've never lost anyone in my life. I remember in H.S. losing a friend that I had just met a few months before, and then two years later her brother died also ( I was closer to him). So until now, I have never really had to experience death. All of my Grandparents died before I was born except my great-grandma who passed away when I was 8 (which I don't really remember) and then my dad's mom when I was 13, but I wasn't as close to this side of the family. It's been three months since she has been gone and I feel like maybe I might just be starting to feel better. I think that more sunshine and the slightly warmer weather is starting to help me feel better. I hate the cold, so I usually hold up inside my house huddled under blankets and anatomy books. That would depress anybody!
Anyhow, my mom has gotten everything out of my Grandma's house and they are getting the house ready to sell. Normally I have big issues with things like this because I try too hard to hold on to material things. For example, her house has been her home for 40 years. It hurts to think that it won't be "hers" anymore. However since my Grandma passed I have started to really see the importance in the things that really matter. I now see that a house is not my Grandma. Her clothes, her things, her car, even her dog, are not my grandma. Nothing will bring her back. Even though I did every single thing that I thought I should do before she died, I still wish I had done things different. I want so much to live my life in her footsteps. She created a path for me to follow, and that path is by being good to those I love (and those I don't) and by making a conscious effort to do things for the better of everyone else. I need to be selfless, kind and loving. Those are some big shoes to fill. But I had the best example to learn from.
I miss my Grammy so badly. I think about her EVERY single day, probably every single hour. I put together an album of pictures from her house that were just strewn around in a box. It's nice to see them all put together nicely. Grammy kept everything that Aimee and I ever gave her it seems. She saved all the cards we ever sent her, all the pictures we ever drew, and even the program for the ENHS musical that I played for in the orchestra! She saved my graduation program and invitation, I mean anything that had to do with us girls. It made me so happy.
Okay, so I am very randomly rambling so I will change the subject. I only have two more classes to take this fall and I am ready to apply to the nursing program!!!!!! YAY! I have been doing really well so far but the current semester is difficult for me. I have been trying very hard, but with all of the things going on in my life it's been hard to concentrate like I normally do. So we will see how this semester turns out. Thankfully it's ALMOST done.
Ethan and Natalie are doing really good. I feel somewhat out of sorts since it's spring break and Ethan is home from school, but it's definitely nice. I am having a hard time keeping the house clean! For those of you who don't know, I am back working at Cracker Barrel :( . I work there Tues., Thurs., Fri., and Sat. nights. I still work at the Haire Cellar on Sat. mornings but Chad has been working overtime on Saturdays, so I have had to miss some mornings at the salon. Since my Saturdays are so unpredictable now they are going to look for another receptionist to take my place and if that person cannot make it, I will hopefully be able to fill in. I think this will be better for both them and me. On top of all this I am still making cakes! I have so much cake to do the month of April that I will be making enough cake to serve 300 people! YAY! I also might have my first wedding cake to do in July and then one in September! I'm SOOOO excited. I always said that if this nursing thing doesn't work out (which it BETTER because that's all I really want to do!) then teaching comes next. If not that them I am opening a bakery. Haha! If I can't do any of those, then I told my sister I'd go into cosmetology! HAHAHAHA! So I better get something done right because trust me, you don't want me cutting your hair. Even if I was trained. Scary!
Well I am going to quit my babbling. I have to head to Ft. Wayne for cake supplies. Thanks to everyone who takes time out of their day to read my ramblings. I really appreciate it!